CONSTITUTION of the SOUTH DERRY MODEL FLYING CLUB

The name of the club shall be South Derry Model Flying club hereinafter called the "South Derry Model Flying club".


The objectives of the club shall be to:-
(a) provide like minded idiots with facilities for the flying of model aeroplanes
(b) to promote the consumption of large quantities of methanol and
(c) to encourage the building of ARTF's from plans.

Relationship to the British Model Flying Association

The club shall be affiliated to the British Model Flying Association hereinafter referred to as the "British Model Flying Association"


The club shall have two types of membership considered equally in terms of voting rights and monetary contributions: -

(a) Those who turn up because they like to fly models and have nothing better to do at the weekends.

(b) Those who have made model flying a rather sad way of life, practice a lot and generally are a source of bewilderment to (a) above.

Rights and Duties of Members

(a) All members must show respect by referring to the Chairman as 'Sir' rather than 'Sam' or 'Sammy' when on club premises.

(b) Members shall refrain from clapping and cheering when a model comes to grief. Polite applause however is deemed acceptable.

(c) No Member shall be involved in any organizational capacity within the club unless he/she is forced into it.

(d) Members shall complain to the Secretary a minimum of once in every calendar month about the constant nagging of the Safety Officer.

(e) No member shall be permitted at any meeting of the club to make derogatory remarks about the sobriety of any of the elected Officers or members of the committee.

(f) Members shall be entitled to express annoyance at the increase in the annual subscriptions only after they have voted in favour of same at the AGM.

(g) All members shall attend the annual dinner hereinafter referred to as the "Christmas Do"


The Management of the Club shall be vested in a Committee consisting of the Officers and not less than one ordinary member. Candidates for the Committee must be members of the club.
Meetings of the Committee shall take place at the discretion of the Secretary primarily in public houses or in some other previously arranged venue offering the same or similar facilities. Such meetings shall be open to all members of the Club and their loved ones.

Elected Officers

The elected Officers of the club shall be a Chairman, a Vice Chairman, a Secretary, a Treasurer and a Safety Officer hereinafter referred to as the "Head Honchos".

The Chairman (hereafter known as "The Chairman") shall be responsible for the Club and its business, including but not limited to matters of safety and alcohol consumption. The Chairman shall also be permitted to take the credit even if all the work has been done by someone else entirely and this is the first time he has heard about it.

The Vice Chairman shall arrange, regulate and promote all Club activities which are not related to model flying.

The Secretary shall be responsible for doing all the jobs which it looks like the Chairman will never ever get round to sorting out.

The Treasurer. shall keep a register of the members of the club, and shall harass them for payment of fees. He or she shall carry out his or her duties with unparalleled dry humour and cynicism.

Election of Committee

The members shall elect the committee at the Annual General Meeting from nominations made verbally to the Secretary no later than one working minute before voting. If the number of nominations exceeds the number of vacancies it shall be deemed to be a miracle. The elected members shall hold office until the following annual general meeting when hopefully they shall be deposed.




The Committee shall have the power to deal with all matters not provided for in this Constitution and to hide all material, papers and records if things go horribly wrong. In the event of vacancies arising on the Committee between elections the number of members on the committee shall be the same as it was before the vacancies occurred minus the number of vacancies that occur.
All monies raised by, or on behalf of, the Club shall be applied to further the objects of the Club except as provided for elsewhere in these rules.

Meetings

Unless incapacitated through the consumption of certain beverages the Chairman (or in his absence the Vice-Chairman) shall preside at meetings of the Club.


The Club shall hold an Annual General Meeting ("The Meeting") annually, to which all members are invited. The Meeting shall be held in a random date in the month of November, as announced by the Secretary. Coffee and alcoholic beverages shall be provided out of club funds. At the Meeting, the officers shall give reports of the year's business to the few members likely to be present , and the members shall be required to elect a Committee to replace the incumbents.
Any other business shall consist of the consumption of alcoholic beverages, earnest discussion of philosophical issues, the mocking of the Committee, and being a bit silly.

The Newsletter.

The newsletter shall be written by the Secretary and shall be amusing, informative, risqué, bi-monthly, and shall have a name consisting of a witty pun on the initials of the Club.

The Annual Dinner.

The Annual Dinner and Prize Awards ceremony shall be held at a random date in the month of December and all members shall be invited. The Dinner shall consist of four courses and coffee, and shall be accompanied by a selection of fine wines and spirits paid for out of club funds. Members who have won club competitions shall be presented with their ridiculously shiny and inexpensive trophies. At the conclusion of the Dinner, the Chairman shall make an inebriated speech, at which juncture the Menus shall be signed. Alcohol-induced merrymaking shall continue until at least two o'clock in the morning.